laugh until my head comes off...

i look through the window.
i see them all
those strangers.
what right do they have
to be here, when i am not allowed
even to step foot
in the door?

they ask me questions
through the panes.
the panes and panes that line it-
the coffee shop;
the diner in my mind.
they ask me over and over again

"where are you going?
"what are you up to?
"who do you think YOU are?"

none of them care.
none want conversation.
the curiosity stems from elsewhere.
from something sad.
it drips down in little lines.
down the tempered glass.
the windshield in my mind.

i speed through the drizzle.
careening across the pavement
down the highway of my life.
down the winding mountain roads.
through my sunglasses,
i see little in the twilight,
the sadness of my circumstance.

i wear my ambivalence.
a mask above my rumpled collar.
i catch him in the rear-view.
his eyes beg an answer,
"who are you?"

i am lost.